You can get comfortable with life, with a certain routines and even though you know that way of life or those routines are no longer bringing you joy, you just can’t bring yourself to step away. I think at times like this our subconscious takes over and, in a way, sabotages us in order to force us to change things up.
That happened to me last Saturday. I have taught group fitness at the same gyms for over 14 years and it has always been a love/hate relationship. I love inspiring people. I love knowing that someone made decisions to improve their health in part because of coming to my classes. I love watching the joy people have as they achieve fitness goals. Mostly I love the friends I have made over the years, the friends I may only see in class, but the ones I count on to keep me honest.
What I don’t love is the thick skin needed to deal with the negativity of teaching aerobics. Nobody is perfect, except an aerobics instructor, don’t ya know. In the minds of some we were put on this earth to give them a perfect experience every time they walk through the door – because after all, that’s what they pay for!
It’s hard standing in front of 25 people and knowing how to give each and every one of them their own individual ultimate workout. Its harder knowing that no matter what you do, some will leave upset and talk badly about you in the locker room or worse email your boss. What is the hardest, though, is being a human aerobics instructor, because human beings make mistakes and aerobics instructors must always be perfect.
Over the years I have been “talked to” many times for the things I have said in class that have offended people. Over the years I have defended myself and then walked into class and checked everything I said for fear of getting in trouble again. After the last such conversation, I decided that I was done. No more defending myself, no more pretending, no more walking on eggshells, I am me and there are parts of me that are truly tough to take, but I’m done living my life trying to please other people when I am the only one I have to answer to daily.
So when the text came in “we need to talk”. I was done. I didn’t want to talk because it was going to be the same thing as it always is and it’s laughable at this point because I already knew it was coming. I repeated several times via a couple of texts, I don’t want to talk, just fire me. I wasn’t going to walk away because even if it was in my best interest, I wouldn’t disappoint the members who love me by leaving them. So I got the termination letter first thing Monday morning
…and I felt relieved! In fact the utter lack of emotion associated with seeing the words “your services are no longer needed” shocked me. I thought it would hurt. I thought it would be painful. I thought that day I stopped teaching aerobics that it would leave a hole in my heart. Instead I feel relief. I feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in my adult life I now get to workout (at a different gym of course!) and focus on me and focus on my self-improvement.
I did not realize until the moment it happened how much of a burden teaching aerobics had become for me.
I feel relieved!
I also feel sad for the people who enjoyed my classes. I truly did love many of my members. This week they will show up expecting me and I have no idea what they will get…
…but they’ll no longer get me. Instead I will get the opportunity to focus on me. I have be going 500 miles/hour for so many years juggling everything and I honestly am ready to begin a new chapter focusing on me.
2013 is the year of Missy. It’s finally the year where I really stop trying to please everyone else and focus on improving me and getting myself where I need to be so that I can once again inspire others to be their best version of themselves.
So THANK YOU former employer – THANK YOU for firing me! A friend told me that she once heard Oprah say that you should never be upset over being fired. It simply means better things are waiting. For the first time in a long time, I honestly feel there are better things waiting.
All of that being true, getting fired does sting a little. So the next time I’m in a comfortable routine that is no longer beneficial, I just hope I have the courage to walk away when its time versus waiting for the “You’re fired!”
“…every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end!”